Trust broken

The disintegration of relationships - marital, social, political, professional and familial - is often rooted in trust or, more specifically, in its breach.

If I can’t believe what you say - be it a promise, an explanation or even a compliment - the seeds of distrust fester and our relationship crumbles.

The fear of emotional exposure and pain of our trust being betrayed causes us to build fortifying walls of emotional distance around ourselves. This protects us from pain, but also insulates us from potential love.

If we cannot trust, we cannot love.

The price of trust is vulnerability. The reward of trust is intimate relationships.

Fit to be led

We often lament the dearth of courageous leaders who take responsibility for their errors, yet we as a community punish those who admit their faults.

In principle we want accountable leaders; in practice we can only tolerate infallible role models.

If the paradigm our leaders are working within demands their infallibility, then responsibility becomes suicidal rather than admirable.

Perhaps what society is missing is not capable leaders, but rather mature followers who are ready to be led.

Social Snubbing

Why would deliberately ignoring someone or even pretending not to see them ever be a logical behaviour? What does it achieve and what is the logic?

It can only be fear; only anxious people avoid contact. Of course it doesn’t always feel like fear- it feels like anger, it feels like apathy- but make no mistake snubs are always anxiety driven.

What are people so scared of...?

The Facebook epidemic of Anniversary Announcements

Abraham Lincoln once remarked “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Often we insist on asserting ourselves in areas where we are still uncertain, this being an attempt to disguise our doubt. The irony is that it is our lack of confidence that is inevitably exposed.

If I have to tell people how important I am it is a sign that I feel insignificant. If I need to tell the world how much I love someone, it is a sign of self-doubt.

Confidence doesn't need to be boasted, it is embodied. Self-assurance doesn't require a salesman, it sells itself. Love is something best held in confidence, publicizing it cheapens it.

“The emptiest vessel makes the loudest sound”- Shakespeare.