Is a Rabbi just a glorified service professional?

The role of the rabbi has evolved over time. Whereas once he was only the arbiter of disputes or perhaps the director of divine ritual, nowadays he has developed multiple roles.

The yeshiva system was not developed with the modern rabbi in mind. Its curriculum lacks emphasis on pastoral care, managerial skills, program development and public speaking, not to mention the subtle art of politics. Rabbis have to manoeuvre their way through the labyrinth of communal challenges, drawing at times from anecdotal advice of peers but having to manage mainly through trial and error.

This issue is slowly being addressed; more modern yeshivot have implemented managerial programs as well as public speaking and counselling courses to assist young rabbis who are pursuing their calling.

The rabbinate has its share of ups and downs, but what distinguishes it from other careers is that the rabbi considers his role as one thing while the congregant sees it as another.

Perhaps the most difficult area is where the rabbi is viewed as a therapist or celebrant. Although these are seemingly unrelated fields, they both highlight where the rabbi-congregant relationship breaks down.

Therapists fulfil an extremely important function. They provide support during times of distress and encouragement when self-doubt abounds. But the therapist’s role extends as far as the door. When the client leaves the therapeutic encounter, the two remain strangers. The therapist may share in the client’s successes, but it occurs only inside the consulting room. The therapist is paid for their advice and counsel, not their friendship.

The celebrant, on the other hand, shares in the couple’s greatest joy. He serves a critical role of officiating at their wedding, but he too is only superficially involved in their lives; the next day, all that remains is to settle the bill. There is no relationship, there is no connection. He is, after all, a paid official.

In contrast, the rabbi sees his role as a connector  ̶  connecting Jews to one another and connecting people to their tradition. In order to facilitate his role, the rabbi engages his congregation. He desires to share in their joys and mourn their sadness. He seeks to facilitate lasting bonds between children and their parents. He endeavours to create shalom between husbands and wives. He pursues opportunities to unite his community. He tries to formulate a lasting bond between Hashem and His people.

This is the rabbi’s calling.

When parents use the rabbi as a celebrant for their children’s weddings but do not allow the relationship between their children and the rabbi to germinate, they deny the next generation an opportunity of connecting. They do both the rabbi and their children a disservice.

When the rabbi is called upon to resolve your most intimate life problems, but you exclude him from your triumphs, you sever the connection that could have been. He has become a service provider.

The rabbi of your shul doesn’t have to be your rabbi of choice; perhaps the rabbi you feel connected to officiates elsewhere. One needs to feel a connection of love, concern and friendship with their ‘Rov’ ̶  his wisdom will not be well served if his community is not open to hearing it.

“Aseh lecha Rav, ukaneh lecha chaver” ̶  make for yourself a rabbi and acquire for you a friend. – Ethics of the father 1:6